(I promise there will be a belated Christmas post with glorious pictures, but I really felt I needed to get this post out first)
2010 was a rough year because whenever I got to a point where things were falling into place, life would implode a bit. I spent the year feeling as though I couldn't ever get ahead. No, scratch that. I spent the year feeling as though I couldn't even stay afloat.
Which sucks. A lot. And has turned me into Cranky Mom. Cranky Mom misses a lot of the joy in raising a talkative, amusing, full-of-love 3 year old. Cranky Mom experiences only the stress, remembers only the tantrums, sees only the piles of undone laundry/toys/dishes. Cranky Mom yells too often. Cranky Mom relies too often on TV and can go for days without leaving the house, even to just play outside. Cranky Mom is stressed out, exhausted, and on auto pilot. Cranky Mom simply reacts to life rather than living it. I really hate Cranky Mom.
Time to oust Cranky Mom!
I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions and last year's To-Do List was only moderately successful. However I really like the idea of having some sort of motivating principle or goal for the year and a friend suggested the One Word Resolution. Totally brilliant but much harder for an overly wordy person, like myself, to do. After much deliberation....
My word for 2011: PROACTIVE
Sounds a bit strange, but let me elaborate. I am surprisingly good at recognizing my own failings and the things in my life that I most need to work on. However, I never seem to get around to actually doing the work to fix those problems. All those things that make me exhausted and cranky, well, most of them are within my power to change. I just haven't changed them.
Take the 40lbs I wanted to lose for my sister's wedding. I did manage to lose about 15lbs but post-wedding, have gained it all back. I am not a newbie to weight gain and loss. I know exactly how I gained the weight and I know exactly what I need to do to lose it. But have I stopped my excessive nighttime eating? Have I utilized opportunities to add exercise into my routine? Nope.
I've complained about the shambles of my finances to you all before. But have I done anything concrete to try and help myself- made an actual budget, found extra work, made an appointment with the bank to talk about mortgage help? Nope.
So there you have it. The word that I want to strive for in 2011is proactive. As Nike would say, Just Do It. I'm going to stop sitting back and waiting for life to fix itself. In the (spoken all too often) words of my darling Isa, "I do it myself!"
Because I am a glutton for punishment, I decided I needed a challenge this year to really keep myself present and involved in my life. Something tangible that I could use to monitor my progress in taking back control of life. A way to be accountable to the goal of being proactive. Enter the experiment: http://www.myhomemadeyear.blogspot.com/ Follow along as I attempt to revamp my life by going homemade. Intriguing, no?
Don't worry, for the three of you that still read this blog, I'll still be blogging here about Isa B and the pitfalls of Mama-hood. And, hopefully, a bit more consistently.