Thursday, June 24, 2010

Are we there yet?

I started a post about how fed up I am with my life at the moment. And everytime I'd type a sentence or two, I ended up deleting them. Too depressing. Too whiny. I felt guilty for even feeling whiny when I know that my life is actually pretty darn good.

I have a mostly great kiddo. This week not really, but in the grand scheme, she's wonderful.

I get to work from home. It can be exhausting to work at night but I like not having to be at work 8 hours a day Monday through Friday.

I have a really wonderful support system. Case in point- my parents are taking Isa this weekend so I can have a few days off.

And yet, I'm having a week where all I can do is look around and think "Is this it?". Because I feel like we're just scraping by with so many things and I'm tired of it. In the great American tradition- I want MORE. More for both of us. And quite honestly, more from myself (which would probably result in more for Isa).

I don't want a life full of different people or places or experiences. I guess I just want to rearrange all the pieces into a more appealing picture. More vibrant. More awake. It's a rather daunting task and I have no idea where to even begin.........

(And now I'm hitting publish before I can erase this entire post as well!)