I am trying my best to have a backbone when it comes to this whole crying it out process. But we have several large strikes against us. First, as the title suggests, I am a complete wimp when it comes to listening to Isa cry. Second, she is a toddler not an infant. Finally, she is very opinionated and stubborn.
Yesterday she refused to go down for her nap and since I was exhausted, I just put her in bed with me and we took a nap together. When it came time for bedtime, she did the same thing. I knew she was tired but as soon as I put her in the crib, she reached her arms up and started crying.
Instead of slowly petering out like last time, she just continued to cry. I thought that perhaps her molars were hurting. So, after over an hour of fairly consistent (more on than off) crying, I went in with some medicine. I didn't take her out of the crib, but held her face until she calmed down. Eventually she started to drift off and I figured I needed to leave again. More wailing....
Another 45 minutes or so of crying and she eventually fell asleep. Only to wake up half an hour later sobbing. I cracked. I went in and rocked her- she fell asleep very quickly in my arms. But, of course, when I eventually put her down in her crib I was greeted with another round of sobbing.
I finally had to just call my mom (I was, no suprise, also crying by this time) for some reassurance that I was doing the right thing and that I did, indeed, have the guts to stick this out. She made the smart suggestion of putting on earphones to drown out the crying. My house is the size of a postage stamp, so there is just no escaping the sound.
So, finally, 3 hours after going to bed, she went to sleep for good. Just to rub salt in my wound, she woke up again at 2:30 so I could do another round of listening to her cry. This time after I tucked her back in she sobbed "night-night" over and over and over again. At least she ended up sleeping until 7 this morning.
She did the same thing at nap time today but I just planted myself on the couch for my own nap. Tonight's ordeal was about an hour, much less intense than last night thankfully. She just squawked a couple times loudly (about 3 hours after falling asleep) but has apparently put herself back to sleep. So maybe this whole CIO thing actually does work.
I am exhausted. Emotionally and physically worn out by this whole thing. But I think it has to be done. I haven't spent a night away from her yet and one big reason is that she's not sleeping through the night. It would be really wonderful to have a night off in the future. (More importantly a morning off!)
*sigh* As my mom said last night, 95% of parenting is a joy but that other 5% is tough!